Corinne

72th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-09T18:27:00.001+08:00

It may not be long period i've been waiting for him to be back by my side but these 72 days is really a long period of time. I really miss him so much, I really wonder how is he.

I miss you boy, I miss you so much.
Do you still remember me? :'(

71th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-08T20:42:00.001+08:00

Rome around town, walking around Singapore. How I wish he's by my side admiring the city and beautiful scenes. A pity it's just over between us and I'm nothing to him. How I wish I was given another chance to serve him better.

Miss you boy, hope you're doing well in life. ♥

70th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-07T19:55:00.001+08:00

Every girl's fear is to lose the guy she love most. And my biggest fear did happened. I miss him so much. I heard things about him and I really hope he's coping his life well. On the 20th will be his court date, hopefully if he really gets in, he'll turn into a new leaf. I bet he doesn't know that I still love him and miss him so much. God, send me love to him please.

Love you, Muhammad Fadli ♥

69th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-06T22:07:00.001+08:00

I thought I've moved on, until the moment I heard your friends were arrested by the police and I went anxious calling to know about your whereabout. Only God knows how worried and anxious I was. You have no idea I still care so much about you I guess :')

I miss you, Muhammad Fadli.

68th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-05T20:12:00.001+08:00

I really hope he will not contact those of his friends anymore. It's really a narrow escape for him yesterday. I really wish he can change for the better and realize his mistakes. I miss him so much, where's the good good boy who was with me? God, I want him back. I want to be back with him but a better life than before. Help me, will you? I really need him by my side. ♥

67th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-04T22:34:00.001+08:00

I was so relieved when I heard from his Aunty that he wasn't with his friends when I saw his friends entering the police van. Thank God so much for blessing him. I will repay you with my life if you need. Please God, continue blessing him for his safety.

Muhammad Fadli ♥

66th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-03T19:07:00.001+08:00

I miss him, I dreamt of him last night. How sad can it be. I miss our times do much. Come back to me, will you? :') ♥

65th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-02T16:51:00.001+08:00

I saw him when I went to his house. Words can't express how much I miss him. I really miss him a lot. I miss those times when he was mine. I know I've lost him. He's no longer mine :'(

64th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-12-01T18:33:00.001+08:00

He really seems to be in love with tht girl and that girl really seems very sweet to him. He is the only one I can get along with the whole family, the elderly, the kids. Why god have to build up something beautiful in my life and take it away? I really love him. I really want him back in my arms. Can I? Please god, I'm begging you. I really need him in my life.

I want the Ahfad goodboy back
I want the Muhammad Fadli back
I want the boy that showers me with so much love to be back.
Please God, I beg you.

62th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-29T19:41:00.001+08:00

I see him leading a happy life with that girl and it seems like he can't live without her. I really miss him, the him that I was with. Why did he changed so much? I play videos of him all the time. Where's the Ahfad I was with? Why must things be like these between us? Everyone is asking me to move on but they don't know how much I love him. I may say that I move on but the fact is I still love him so much :'(

61th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-28T02:20:00.001+08:00

Today is his court date. May god bless him and if he happened to be sentenced, hopefully it won't be heavy. I'm just so afraid to the court cause I know he'll bring his girl there.

I know I'm gonna miss him so much

60th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-27T20:01:00.001+08:00

God, please bless his court hearing tmr. If he really has to be sentenced, I really hope it will not be too heavy. I pray for the best and hope things will not be to torturing for him but at the same time I hope if he really goes in, he'll really learn his lesson and change for the better and be a great man and role model. God, please bless the guy I love most.

Muhammad fadli, moving on isn't what I want at all. In fact, I need you so much, I just can't accept that you're in a relationship with that girl. That makes me make up that decision. I really need you in my life. That is really what I want but I guess you really need me no more. I love you, I always do. ♥

59th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-26T22:17:00.002+08:00

It's amazing that he has no feelings for me any longer. I wonder was I ever important to him. It's his court date on Monday and I'm so worried. I feel like going to his court but I'm so worried he'll be mad. I'm so afraid of life totally without him. Looking at my current condition without him is really killing me. I really love him so much. Why can't god just help me fill my love life with the man I love most?

:'(

Where's the Muhammad fadli that love me♥

58th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-25T06:30:00.001+08:00

So, he have a new girlfriend. This time my heart is aching and I decided to let go and move on. It's just too torturing. Why is it when I give my best, my love life still sucks? I really wonder where did I go wrong and what did I do that's exactly not good enough? Perhaps I'm just not pretty enough. But it's true that I really love him, but I know now he's totally over me and needs me no more. He'll never know my love towards him and how much i've done for him.

Where's the Ahfad goodboy I was with? God, I want him back. I don't want the current Ahfad :'(

I need him, I love him but he's too cruel to me. I really do love him alot. But I know this time I got to move on and forget him because he already manage to do that.

:'(

57th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-24T20:15:00.001+08:00

I miss the ahfad good boy I was with. I really miss that boy so much. He disappeared. But still, I thank god for letting me meet such a nice person that can show me so much love almost everyday even if it lasted for just 17 days. Those days are irreplaceable. Everything is just perfect with him. He's really the best. I love him so much. God, please don't take away someone that I love so much will you? God, I love him. I really do. I want the ahfad goodboy that I was with back. Can you please grant my wish?

Dear boy, don't push me away will you? I really need you so much in my life. But.. I know saying all these won't work, because you said that you no longer love me :'(

56th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-23T20:22:00.001+08:00

He seems to have moved on and totally let me go. I guess this time he really don't need me anymore. Nobody will know how upset and heartbreaking I feel. It's just killing me. I really miss our times so much.

Dear, it's amazing how you can move on and let me go so easily. I thought you will never do that. :'(

55th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-22T22:54:00.001+08:00

His Aunty told me that he was anxiously asking his grandmother yesterday about the shirt I bought for his birthday. But the next think I know was that he's slowly moving on. Idk but I just feel this time he really needs me no more and I'm really nothing in his life.

I've been dreaming about him, thinking about him and I really miss those good times with him. I just can't believe beautiful things in life ends so fast. I really need him in my life, I really love him so much. I really want him to be back by my side but why does it seems so hard? I really miss the guy I was with. I miss him so badly.

:'(

54th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-21T19:33:00.001+08:00

I was happy when he called me in the early afternoon. Thought it was a quick one and short one about his birthday present but I was still so glad that he called :') ♥

53th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-20T14:45:00.001+08:00

I was glad that he says thanks after receiving my present.but nobody will know how disappointed I am the next thing I saw him holding on slipper on his left hand while I was talking to his friend. Only god and he knows what he was doing. I wonder if I were to tell him what his friend was talking about him all these while, will he still react that way. How disappointing is can be when a guy you love just treats you like this.

I did not talk to him yesterday but when I look into his eyes I just felt that he was a changed person. He's no longer the sweet and gentle man I knew.

:'(

Love hurts when the one you love treats you like this. Saying that he doesn't love you anymore and all.

52th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-19T15:36:00.001+08:00

Today is his birthday. Before all these happened. My wish was to celebrate with him alone or with his family. But things changed. Now he seems to hate me and I'm drifting apart from him.

I just want to wish him happy 17th birthday and let him know when he needs someone, i'm always here for him. If he needs someone to talk to I'll be his listening ears. I just miss him and I love him so much :'(

Happy birthday dearest love.
I know I no longer make any difference in your life and I know you'll still enjoy your day without me.

I miss the ahfad goodboy I was with.
12.09.11 - 28.09.11
:') ♥

51th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-18T15:07:00.001+08:00

It's been 3 days he have not talked to me. Now he doesn't want to see me. Doesn't wants me to appear in his house, doesn't want me to let anyone know that I'm waiting for him. The is killing me so much, I really hate this feeling so much. Tell me, why is this happening to me? Why am I going through so much pain? I rather die than go through so much heart ache, so much heart pain. Why is he pushing me aside all these while? Why must he suddenly end all these? Why must he do all these to me? I love him, I really do. I miss the ah fad goodboy that was with me.

:'(

50th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-17T18:21:00.002+08:00

today marks the 50th day without him by my side. Time passed and we are drifting apart. i really miss those times with him so much. it seems like i'll never get the chance to be back together with him again. despite much tears i've shed for him but i've never regretted being with him and doing so much for him. I love him so much, god. help me please?

2 more days to his birthday. i guess he'll be enjoying himself and i know he can enjoy himself without me.

49th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-16T13:46:00.001+08:00

I don't know why but these 2 days he seems mad at me. Seems like he hates me. What exactly did I do wrong? :'(

I really love him so much but I really don't know what move did I made that made him like this.

God, you know he's the only boy I love. You know I need him in my life. You know I've gone through so much heartbreak. Why would you just let me lead a happy life with the one I love?

I miss you, the humorous and gentle boy who was with me. I miss how protective you were towards me when we were together. I miss everything about us. If we were to get back together I want us to be doing good, better than how we used to be.

I love you, muhammad fadli :'(

48th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-15T10:35:00.001+08:00

I thank god for blessing that he didn't got sentenced yesterday but as time passes by, I know 28th he'll get charged and I know it will be the last day I'll be seeing him after a long time.

I don't know what happened but he seems to be in bad mood after he came back from court. He even blocked me away from facebook which I don't know why.

What exactly did I do wrong?

All I wish now is to spend as much time with him. As possible and make him a happy boy filled with love and happiness. I know, i'm gonna miss him so much, I know, i'm gonna wait. I love him.♥

47th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-14T03:15:00.001+08:00

I brought the famous Amos cookie cake, celebrating his birthday in advance.

I'm happy that he sent me a message and appreciate what I've done.

Now god, I'm worried, worried sick about his court hearing later on. Please bless him. I know, if he really goes in I won't cry on the spot but will be hiding somewhere to cry instead. It's heartbreaking to see the one I love leaving my side to somewhere I can barely see or even contact him. But no matter what I'm gonna wait for him. ♥

God, give my happiness to him.
Give my love to him.
Leave the best for him.

I love you, I always do and always will. ♥

46th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-13T12:14:00.001+08:00

Dear god, it seems like he's facing problem from his look today. May god look after him and bless him in whatever problem he's facing.

Yesterday was suppose to be our 2nd month anniversary. Like what I always say I'll wait for him.

Tmr will be his court case, may god bless him. I love you, Muhammad fadli.♥

44th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-11T12:06:00.001+08:00

It's 11/11/11 today and most people are wishing to be with the one they love on this special day. I don't except to be with him back together on this date but just hope god will bless me to have an enjoyable and memorable day with him.

May god bless him for his court on 14th nov, I know everyone around him including me are worried. I hope for the best and may god bless him.

I really wish to spend his birthday together with him this year. But I'm so afraid of the court results on the 14th. For now, I just want to spend as much time as possible with him. Because I know if I fail to do so, i'm going to regret.

I may not be perfect, I may not be the best girl you ever had. But baby, I can assure you the love I shower you will never fade. ♥

43th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-10T12:50:00.001+08:00

Thank god for blessing my with my driving theory test yesterday. I want to faster complete the rest of the test and bring him around.

May god bless his court to postpone. I really want to celebrate his birthday with him.

Days goes by, days without you are longer. Time by time, it's killing me. Those sweet times, I miss it so much. I miss us.

Muhammad fadli ♥

42th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-09T06:57:00.001+08:00

God bless, may I pass my Basic Theory Test for my driving license later on. Please let me go through each test smoothly.

I wanna get my license soon and drive him around. ♥

It may be 42 days but days without him by my side seems like 42 months. Everyday I wish for us to be back together. Not like before, but better than that.I miss those times so much.

Loving you was never a regret, though there were endless heartache and heartbreak. I love you ♥

41th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-08T03:11:00.001+08:00

he pushed me away, once again. asking me to move on, telling me not to wait any longer.

dear god, you took all of the man that i love by my side. now, just take away my life because i don't think i can really can carry on with all this pain.

take my life, let me die.
i've really been trying so hard to mend those broken pieces of my heart.
i've been trying so hard to salvage our relationship.
i've been doing all my best to be back with him.

but god, you didn't grand my wish.
he's the one i love most.
now, grand my last wish i beg yoh please.

when i die, please let him know how much i love him. please tell him i've never give up on him even going through so much obstacles. please bless him with lots of love and happiness. please guide him with his life. take away my life God, i beg you. please.

Muhammad Fadli
my second, my last.
forever yours, ♥ .

40th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-07T00:25:00.001+08:00

he seems cold towards me. he barely spoke a few sentence. i wonder what's wrong. i wonder what's in his mind. i really miss those times when he spoke to me so politely, care about me and treated me so sweet.

what am i to him? i really wonder.
does he really love me? i really wonder.
i miss us, so badly.

today will be the last day that i'll be sleeping here.when i told him that i'll be sleeping at my friend's house starting from tmr there was no question asked. he just nod his head. perhaps he really doesn't care about me anymore. perhaps i'm nothing in his life. maybe he doesn't love me anymore.

i'm just a failure in love life. i've been doing my best to keep him by my side, to salvage our relationship but nothing seems to make it. i'm can't lose him. i love him, i really do.

:'(

39th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-06T14:02:00.001+08:00

in the wee hours, he actually didnt bother to wake me up when he's back, asked me to join him for dinner, asked if i was alright and everything. he just kept quiet and in the end after he argued with his mum, he just left the house.

he didnt know how much he've hurt me. without any concern from him. i waited for him to be back, in the end all i got was silence.

what did i do wrong? what did i do that all if this have to happen to me? i love him but his actions seems like he doesnt love me.

38th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-05T04:10:00.001+08:00

it's 4 am and i'm still awake, so is he. but there's no talking, no communication between us.

how i wish he could sleep with me, not to fuck. but i just want to feel the love and warmth in his arms. ♥

each day when i see him texting/calling other girls, i cant help but to feel a heartbreak.

dear god, please bless my driving liscense on the 9th. i really hope i can pass this whole test soon and i hope to drive him around once i get my liscense.

37th days without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-04T19:56:00.001+08:00

i miss those times when i tell everyone he's mine.
i miss those times when he caring enough to help adjust my clothes when i look like a mess.
i miss those times when he lend me his arm to lean on.
i miss those times when he talks to me on the phone for hours late at night.
i miss those times when he send sweet text messages.

i miss all those good times with him. it may be 17 days but those days were thr happiest time in my life.

i love you, muhammad fadli. ♥

36th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-03T23:38:00.001+08:00

i saw he text message to other girls in the phone after we're done exchanging phone. i really wonder those words when he said i love you, doesnt he really mean it. sometimes when i heard him talking to others girls on the phone, i heard how soft spoken he is. and i really do miss those time how sweet and caring he treated me and o course. how soft spoken he is when he talked to me.

i just miss those times so much.
when will he be back by my side? now, later or never? :')

35th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-02T17:33:00.001+08:00

god, it's the 35th day without him as my man. i really miss those times with him, how caring he was and everything.

dear god, i know that he's facing problems.please help him. his having case now, i dont want him to create another one and make it never ending. god, treat it like you're helping me. help him please.

for his safety, im willing to shorten my life if you want.

god, these 2 days of November he's good to me. bless me and let happiness and love continue to enter my life, will you?

i love him, no matter how much i've to go through and no matter how much i've to suffer. how i wish he'll really know how much i love him ♥

34th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-11-01T01:33:00.001+08:00

Today's the first day of a brand new month November.

19th November is his birthday. I've one wish, I just want to celebrate his birthday once again. This time not with another girl to hurt my heart. I just want to spend his birthday with him and his family.

14th is his court date. I really hope the judge could extend the date and let me spend his birthday with him.

I really hope November will be a better month for us. October had brought me so much pain. I really really hope November will be a better month please.

God, I'm worried about him. I know he's having problems with his family now. Whatever is it, I really hope god will bless for his safety in case anything really happens. God, if anything were to happen, give me pain instead of him. Take my life instead of his. I just don't want anything to happen to him. God, I beg you in my prayers. God, I can't afford anything to happen to him. He's my everything, he's all I need.

God, November will be a better month for me and him. It will be a better month for us right? God, I know it will. Please make it happen.

May god bless the man I love with all happiness, safety and love. _ Muhammad Fadli ♥

33th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-31T14:14:00.001+08:00

Dear god, if I were to leave this earth please tell him how much I love him.

I've never love a guy this much before.
Please tell him, if I don't love him, I won't take 16 panadols when he ignored me.
If I don't love him, I won't wait for him even after he moved on with another girl.
If I don't love him, I won't buy him presents and do him cards.
If I don't love him, I won't be waiting for him even after I see him contacting, web cam and meeting many girls.
If I don't love him, I won't tell my friends how sweet he treats me when we were together.
If I don't love him, I won't be staying at his house when I ran out from home.
If I don't love him, I won't take 22 panadols when he asked me to move on.
If I don't love him, I will have took more than 10 panadols when he's going court on the 10th October, afraid that it would be the last time I see him.
If I don't love him, I would have left him long ago.
If I don't love him, I won't do stupid things and get drunk when he brought that girl home when we're suppose to celebrate his birthday.
If I don't love him, I won't wake up early in the morning just to call him till he wakes up.
If I don't love him I won't be buying breakfast early in the morning an deliver to his friend's house.
If I don't love him, I won't be treating his family like my own.
If I don't love him I won't even get jealous or give a damn about what he's doing.

God, only you knows how much I love him. God, I'm so afraid to lose him. If I were to lose him, I rather leave this world. God, help me please. I beg you.

I love him, I really do.
Muhammad Fadli ♥

32th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-30T12:32:00.001+08:00

heart crash and tears flow down my cheeks as i saw his facebook. in less than 2 months i saw many girls he've been contacting. perhaps he really move on, it's really amazing how can he do it.

god, its really heartaching to see all these. so i beg you, take away my life. i dont ask for more, just take away my life and let me leave this earth. it's turtoring, it's killing me. please, i beg you please.

i love him, i've been trying my very best to salvage our relationship. i try to think positive about him but everytime i get heartbreak like this. i tried so hard to be patient and not to feel so jealous about all this but my heart keep going through all this heartbreak.

seeing the guy you love, loving someone else. seeing the guy you love entertaining a girl who likes him though he doesnt like her back. seeing a guy bringing a girl friend back home to overnight. seeing the guy you love, kissing another girl.

my heart feels so sore now, god take me away with you. bring me up with you please.

31th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-29T13:27:00.002+08:00

It was a great day. I thought it would be a great experience thinking that i stayed over mama's house with his grandparent's sleeping there too. i thought we would all bond well and it would be really memorable. Well, indeed it was, but it didn't turn out the way everyone expected. he say he went to meet his friend but end up he brought that girl which he claim to be his friend and he told his mum that she's gonna overnight there too.

My heart just sank went he brought a girl up. Let it be his best friend, close friend, normal friend.
does he just simply bring a girl, friend into the house and stay overnight with him?
that really makes me wonder what's going on with him.

I fake like it wasn't hurting me and i pretend like it doesn't concern me but deep down in my heart, i was bleeding like mad. Baby, what did i do? Baby, why must you hurt me? Every single piece of my heart is aching. Baby, don't play with my heart. Baby, this hurts so much. I love you, boy. I love you so. Now hug me tight and never let me go.♥

Why is it hurting me so much recently?
God, take my life. take my life away.
I'm begging you.

30th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-28T09:47:00.001+08:00

Today is the 28th October 2011, which also marks one month that I've been waiting for him. I don't know why but I feel that things are turning bad lately, especially after tomorrow's issue. God, it's a month without him by my side. All I asked was to be back with him and be his only one filled with so much loved.

God, when I read his Facebook my heart just sank and I just cry instantly. God, I failed badly in life. I failed badly as a girlfriend, friend, sister. My life just sucks so much.

God, now I'm not asking for much. Just take away my life now and give him all the happiness and love he can ever get, bless him throughout his whole life please. God, help me with these please. Grand my wish, let me go. I want to end my life here please.

I love him, I always do.
Whenever I was with him, I just wanted to spend time, just the both of us. But he always bring his friend. When I ran out of home to sleep at his house, every night I wish that he's there by my side. Whenever I see him chatting and web caming with other girls, my heart just break so much but I've to act by putting up a smile. Whenever he's on the phone with another girl, I'll just act like I don't know but deep down it's stabbing my heart. How polite he was talking to other girls, how sweet he is typing those message, I couldn't help but to miss those times badly.

God, my heart is filled with so much pain. God, do you know that one of his actions that make me feel loved can actually make me forget 10 of the heartbreaks I get from him.

It's only a month but I've gone through so much pain, why god, why can't you help me with this? Since you can't help me with this, then please, take away my life now. I'm begging you.

I love Muhammad Fadli, I always do. ♥

29th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-27T20:54:00.001+08:00

I'm happy when he came in the room, but I though he would be staying and sleeping with me. Instead no, after a short period, he went out to chat with other girls and talk to other girls on the phone. I know, for our current status I can't talk much but if he really loves me I wonder why is he doing all these.

I hope he'll sleep with me tonight. I don't know why but whenever he's by my side, so close, I just feel so loved.

God, please give me strength. I'm sure I'll be able to overcome all these.♥

I love him so much, I really do.
Muhammad Fadli ♥

28th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-26T01:41:00.001+08:00

I feel happy when he came back home early yesterday but earlier when I saw her replying that girl's message, it says 'bby'. So, the girl he said who was irritating and pissed off with, he call her 'bby'? Sigh, I'm totally speechless.

God, how I wish he could send me to work or fetch me back home later on.

God, 14/11/11 will be his court date. Please bless him god, please. I rather suffer more than he does. ♥

27th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-25T00:22:00.001+08:00

Dear god, thank you for blessing him with his court yesterday. Thought it was postpone but I'm glad because I can get to spend a little more time with him.

Why is it that I feel such huge jealousy and anger when I see him chatting and web cam with other girls? Is it just so heartbreaking.

God, can you really help me overcome all these obstacles? I'm afraid I can't handle is anymore. It's hurting me so much.

I love him, I really do.♥
I really really wonder if he loves me.
But I don't seems to be able to get an answer from him.

26th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-24T17:56:00.001+08:00

Thank god, thank you so much for blessing him. Though it's postpone of court date but I'm still grateful that I can get to spend a little more time with him. Thank god for everything, but
God, I still need more strength from you.

I love this guy, his my second boyfriend. Thought we've broken up and I've gone through so much tough time but I'm not going to give up. I'm going to hold on to him and never gonna let go. Muhammad Fadli ♥

25th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-23T11:38:00.004+08:00

Yesterday night, when I send him back to his friend's house,he told me about his ex-girlfriends stories and I asked him what was the reason that he really wanted to break up with me. He didn't answer my question even up till now. I really wonder what am I to him. Am I just another friend in his eyes? God, give me more strength to face all the obstacles in my life please. I'm begging you. It's 25 days without him. Though I'm still contacting him but the feeling is just different. I miss how he show his love towards me. I miss everything about us. God bless me, help me please.

Right now, he's all I need. ♥

24th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-22T19:53:00.001+08:00

God, I thank you for letting me spend a whole day with him. 24th is his court date. For now, I just want to spend as much time as possible because I know I've to prepare for the worst. God, I thank you for every single chance you gave me to be able to contact him. He's my everything, though I'm not sure what I am to him ♥

Missing those times when I'm with him, I miss the Muhammad Fadli I was with, so sweet and loving. ♥

23rd days without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-21T20:32:00.001+08:00

God, why is it that when I see that girl saying that she's going to ton with him and going to meet him later, my heart tears so badly? God, give me more strength to face all these please. Though he told me that he's not in a relationship with that girl but I don't know why seeing all those hurtful thing just break my heart into pieces. I'm trying so hard to meant those broken pieces but it seems like no matter how hard I try nothing seems to help. God, I really love him. I really need him in my life. God, help me. I beg you please.

Muhammad Fadli ♥

22nd day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-20T23:22:00.001+08:00

It's been 22 days without him as my boyfriend. Though I'm still close with him but the way he treat me now is really different when we are together. I miss how we are. I may be selfish but I'm really happy when he said that that girl and him has nothing on. I really hope we could be back together soon, even if we can't, I'm still gonna wait for him, no matter how long it takes. I love him, that's the truth.

God, I don't lie when it comes to love. I'm really sincere in it. Please give me more strength to overcome all the bad that I've to go through. Please protect me and help me. God, I love him. I hope you can tell.

God, please bless his health. He hasn't been eating for days and his bad habit is back. Please help him. It's so heartbreaking to see him like this. God, bless him please. I know he can be a good man, I know he can. God, help me by helping him, please.

I love him, more than any other girls can ever love him. My love for him is pure, muhammad fadli ♥

21th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-19T13:04:00.001+08:00

Today marks the 3rd week that I've broken up him. Words can't express how torturing these 3 weeks is without him in my life. Though I've to go through so much shit but my love for him has never ever fade. I thank god for letting him be together with me even if it's just for a short period of time.

I texted him 12 plus during the midnight asking him to text me later and call me when he end work. I wonder if he really will do it.

Today morning I saw that girl's Facebook writing ' boyfriend treating me so nice right now ♥ ' my heart just sank immediately after reading it.

He told me he's single but that girl wrote on his wall and tagged him in her post. Who else can she be referring to other than him?

Dear god,
Why is it that no matter how much love I shower him doesn't seems to be enough? What did I do wrong and my heart always have to be broken? Tell me why, please. It is so heartbreaking to see the one you love, loving someone else.

God, kill me instead. I'm afraid I can't hold on any longer. God, take away my life. I don't want to suffer any longer. All these things happening in these 3 weeks are scarier than any nightmare. All these things happening in these 3 weeks makes my heart sank even deeper than Titanic. God, take away my life. Let me find my father and take care of him instead. Because I know he will love me more than any other guy does. God, my love for Fadli is really true and sincere. I really wonder if he can see. God, help me. Give me strength. I beg you, I beg you please. Please please please

I love you always, Muhammad Fadli ♥

20th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-18T11:36:00.001+08:00

I messaged him last night and ask him to call me after work. Instead he call me at 11 plus late at night and also called back when he end work. We talked for a short while and he call me once again at 1 plus and ask me to meet him. Unfortunately I was unable to do so. He called me again at 4 am but I was sound asleep then, so I didn't picked up his phone. Hopefully he'll call me again later. How I wish he could be this sweet everyday ♥

I miss you so much, muhammad fadli ♥

19th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-17T17:59:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I waited for him to end work. I thought It would be a short while and he would chase me back after that. To my surprise he asked me to accompany him to buy food and slack at his friend's house for awhile. He treated me good at that time and even send me out to hail a cab when im going back home. When I texted him that I'm back home and even said 'I love you' he also replied ' I love you too' it was a great day. Still, I'm confused if he loves me but at least this small little thing really brighten my day. How I wish everyday would be this simple and sweet. ♥

I love you, Muhammad fadli ♥

18th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-16T10:52:00.002+08:00

I miss him, missing every single thing about him. Even if he say he doesn't love me, even if he asked me to move on, I know I'm not going to do that. Many people say it's just 2 weeks that I'm with him, definitely I can forget him. But I don't know why even though I'm with him for only 17days but my love towards him seems stronger than my previous 18months relationship. I hope he'll really come back to my side. People say that I'm stupid whenever I say I'm willing to close one eyes regarding his mistakes but I how I really wish they could put themselves in my shoes and think, that's because I really love him so much.

Dear love,
We know each other for the shortest period of time but the memories you left me with will stay for the rest of my lifetime.
Your used to be wifie

Muhammad Fadli ♥

17th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-15T00:55:00.002+08:00

i miss him. 17 days without him feels like 17 months without love. i miss every single thing about him, even though we still meet and talk but the feeling being together with him and not is totally different. I love him still and always will, no matter what. ♥

14th day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-12T11:39:00.001+08:00

Today is the 12th October, is was suppose to be our one month anniversary. I know it's not a long period of time but the love I have towards him was more than my previous relationship which was more than a year. This current love seems so magical. I have no idea why my love for him is so deep to all this extend. He called me early midnight telling me to move on, he doesn't wants me to wait for him. I wonder why he seems so selfish. Yes, it may be a long period of time but I will do anything for my love ones. Anything and everything. Why is it when I ask him he love me, he says no. Why is it when I ask him to swear he didn't. Why did he call me back and told me to move on and he doesn't love me? My heart is filled with so much of confusion. What did I do wrong? What is it whenever I give the guys all my love and they just dump it to a side? Why is that so? Do I own god anything? I feel useless that each of the man I love just left me and in the end move on with another girl. Can't he see that my love for him is really sincere? I really love and miss him so much. I really miss us. What exactly went wrong? :'(

How hurting it is to know someone living happily with the man you love most
How hurting it is to hear from the man you love so much saying that he no longer loves you
How hurting it is to go through all these pain

How I wish he could really stand in my shoes and really think how much I'm willing to do for him, how much I'm willing to do for us.I love him, I really really do. :'(

Muhammad Fadli ♥

13th Day without Muhammad Fadli ♥

2011-10-11T09:10:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow was supposed to be our one month anniversary if all these things didn't happen. I wonder if he remembers. My mind is filled with questions and confusions. Who else can really clear all my doubts and answer my questions except him. Yesterday when his grandma talked to me, I was crying in my heart badly. Tears just roll down when I was in the train on the way to the court. Thinking about all the problems, all the good and bad times we had. Why do this have to end? I wanted to hug him badly and tell him 'i love you' but his new girl was there, there was no way I could do that. I miss every single thing about him. I recalled how sweet he was and how loving he was when we were together. It lasted only in a short while from 12-28th September. I miss him. I miss my man by my side. I feel useless not being able to keep him and now someone else's got my man. It has been 2 torturing weeks for me, it was really tough. I'm just thankful with his family members that gave me support and strength to fight all these battles. I really hope he'll be back by my side soon and forget about that girl :') I love him, I really do. ♥

p/s ; i just created this blog.